Most parents think they know their teen well enough to recognize when something is wrong. But here’s the truth… teens are great at hiding the things that are really wrong. As parents, it’s also easy to dismiss their changes in behavior as “normal adolescence.” For this reason, it’s important that parents know how to identify red flags in the case that their teen may be in an unhealthy dating relationship.

It’s even more important because, whether you agree or not, your child isn’t likely to talk to you if they’ve been harmed. According to LoveIsRespect.org, only 33% of teens who were in a violent relationship ever told anyone about the abuse. Additionally, 81% of parents believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know if it’s an issue. And though 82% of parents feel confident that they could recognize the signs if their child was experiencing dating abuse, a majority of parents (58%) could not correctly identify all the warning signs of abuse.

Here you go…

Common Red Flags and Warning Signs that your teen may be in an abusive relationship. 

• Your teen’s new partner wants to see them nonstop.
• Their partner seems possessive and jealous.
• They text message your teen nonstop.
• Your teen is suddenly withdrawn.
• They check their phone constantly.
• They no longer hang out with their friends or family.
• They become defensive and secretive.
• They seem suddenly depressed and unmotivated.
• Their grades are dropping.
• They lose interest in extracurriculars.
• Their eating habits or hygiene change.
• They begin to dress differently.
• They seem anxious or nervous.
• They have bruises or marks of physical injury.

As a general rule, if your teen is in a relationship and they seem “different,” just ask!

Simply asking can be tremendously helpful. Your teen may deny it, and in many cases, they will defend the person they are dating. This is normal. They’re not yet comfortable opening up about these types of things. Start the conversation by asking, and take things from there. For more tips on having this conversation, see the other posts on this blog.

To access my entirely FREE Guide For Parents with tips and resources, click here.

About: Ashley Bendiksen is a top youth motivational speaker and prevention educator. A survivor speaker and renowned expert in teen dating violence, domestic violence, and sexual assault prevention, Ashley is available as a speaker for middle schools, high schools, colleges, and youth conferences for both students and adults who serve them. She is also a professional development speaker for first responders, victim services providers, and workplaces. Request Ashley to speak.